Blessings #5
Journey of Giving and Receiving Blessings – Childhood
Chinese religion is not Buddhism. Instead, it’s polytheism in that they believe in multiple gods. It’s also a dualism; they believe gods and evil have equal powers. When I was a child, we lived in a flat on the third floor. There were red wooden plaques with images or writings represented different gods displayed around the flat. A container with ashes was attached to each plaque to hold incense. Two were hung on the side of the top and bottom part of the doorway signified to protect people’s coming and going. There was one plaque by every window to guard the evil from coming in. One plaque was in the kitchen. The kitchen god listened to people’s gossips. At the end of year, the god would report to heaven. So before Chinese New Year, people made offering to the kitchen god to bribe him. This was my mother’s religion.
When WWII was over, we went back to Hong Kong from China. My mom gave birth to five younger siblings, and they were about eighteen months apart. My mom’s generation didn’t practice birth control! When the third sister was sick with meningitis, my mom didn’t take her to the doctor. She went to a temple to make an offering, and asked for healing of my sister. She also hired a monk coming to our home to chant and burn incense. He waved the smoke from the burning incense over and around her. It didn’t heal my sister.
Eventually my mom took my sister to the hospital. She died of high fever in her brain. My mom came home crying. When I asked where my sister was, she said the doctor kept her to take care of her. It was the way she dealt with the pain. That event gave me great impressions and cast a doubt in my mind of mom’s religion.
I started going to school when I was six and a half years old. Both of my parents worked, so I had to take care of my younger siblings during the day. I went to night school until 4th grade. I walked 500 meters or one-third of a mile to school by myself for first grade. The following year my sister reached school age, we walked to school together. I enjoyed going to school. The best thing was that when I was in first grade, my teacher said I was bright. The teachers liked me and I liked the teachers. I even had a crush on my fourth grade teacher Mr. Wu.
All the subjects were taught in Chinese. My dad wanted me to learn English, so he sent me to English tutoring when I was in fourth grade. By this time, my mom stopped working so that she could take care of four little ones. Since my mom was home, my dad decided to send me to day school. It was in Wan Chai, half an hour tram ride from home. We had school five and a half days a week. I made friend with teacher’s daughter, Shirley. We became lifelong friends.
“The first grade teacher said I was bright, and that made a big impact on my life.”
The first grade teacher said I was bright, and that made a big impact on my lif. I did well at school throughout elementary school years. Each class had about forty students. At the end of school year, the report card showed our performance in terms of their places among the forty students. Throughout elementary school years, I didn’t get the first place. I was in second to ninth places. That means, I was at the top twenty-three percentile of grade points. It broke my heart when I got the ninth place that year! I gave credit to my dad for my good grades. He checked my homework every night and quizzed me every week. It was a blessing to have a dad who cared so much about my education.
Courtesy of https://mygulitypleasures.wordpress.com for the street sign Pok Fu Lam Road.
Thanks for sharing with us.
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You’re welcome! Thank you for reading it!
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I’m so glad you’re trying to remember all you can. The good and the bad. I think it’s important to know where we come from and be able to pass along those stories. My grandmother was so ashamed of her past that she refused to discuss it. I continued to question other relatives but everyone was tight-lipped. After her death, I am gradually putting the pieces of her story together through Ancestry.com and DNA testing with 23 & Me. I’m beginning to feel better knowing what caused her shame yet knowing none of us would have felt that way. It was a different time and place. Unfortunately,we never had a chance to tell her how proud of her we are. So, keep writing. It’s priceless.
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Thank you so much for you comment and sharing! Yes, a lot of my writing has that in mind that I want to pass along my stories, My mom gave birth to 13 children 6 before me and 6 after me. The 6 before me, only one sister survived. She and my dad never talked about what happened to the other 5. I wanted to know. But my parents were married with they were 15 (mom) and 16 (dad). They went through WW II. Probably because of young age and hard time, babies didn’t survive. It’s good for you to do the genealogy to pass on to the next generation!
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I cannot imagine the grief involved with losing so many children. So sad.
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Yes, I don’t know how my mom handled that. In my Blessing # 5 https://theshowerofblessings.wordpress.com/2017/02/22/blessings-5/
I watched my sister #10 being very sick and died in the hospital. My mom wa crying all the way home.
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Oh my. I’m sorry.
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Different generation handle things differently. I’m very open with my daughter!
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In many ways we had similar beliefs in India. That god can cure. People would make offering to the God. But all this is changing. Even in India, we have so many different God and Goddesses. I guess some parts of culture is similar. Great write up.
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Thank you for your comment. Buddhism is a major religion in China also, along with multi-gods. But Buddhism came from India years and years ago. The grade school I went was sponsored by Buddhist, I learned a little bit about the prince sitting under the tree and was enlightened.
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You are right. But over the years Buddhism became strong in Burma, Sri Lanka, Thailand, China, Laos etc.
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Yes, you’re right.
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Miriam, you’re a phenomenal storyteller – beautifully written …. so sorry to read about your sister, I don’t have any siblings .. only child and my childhood I spent with my grandma that wasn’t always the nicest, but I survive … I wish I had listened to my teachers a bit more .. when they told me that I was good, but I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I did pretty well anywho and I don’t regret anything. Had a fantastic life.
I decide very young that I had to make my own happiness and it wasn’t where I was. Thanks for letting me have a piece of your story … and thanks for sharing.
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Oh Vive, my daugher is my only child. Coming from a large family, I was concerned about her social life. Well, that’s not anything you can do. your parents didn’t want or couldn’t have more than one child. You made it, that’s what it counts. My parents were simple parents. They couldn’t give me what I wanted either, I made only own happiness and my further also. My story is not there yet, but I’ll tell that part of story!! Thank you for reading!
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Yes, I agree with you. As adults we have to responsibility for our lives, we can’t blame our childhood for everything – we have many chances to put life right for ourselves.
Looking forward to read more of you story. *smile
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Yes, I agree with you!
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Miriam, this is absolutely wonderful. The details you have shared, your feelings and the way your everyday life was as a child is so revealing. You have given me a window into a life I never knew existed. Thank you!
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Theresa, I’m so glad to hear that. This is what I’m going to pass on to my daughter and their kids. Oh, now I know that they would also enjoy reading it. Thank you for your comment!!
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Yes, they will really enjoy hearing of your memories. Your writing made me think about writing some of my own childhood school memories, and I grew up here in the US, not even in a distant country! But that sense of how you felt when you got your grades and how your father supported you … that is something we can all connect to. 🙂
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I went to a laddies’ dinner last night. We spent a lot of time talking about passing on our legacy. They have been talking about that for a long, long time. I’m the only one taking action and started writing. So it’s a good project to do to leave your legacy!!
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Thank you for the reminder, Miriam!
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You’re welcome!
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Bless you and your family and everyone you know from back then, Miriam ❤ Love, Debbie
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Thank you! Yes, I’m thankful. Love, Miriam
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Our parents are our first teachers. We look to them for guidance and correction. I’m sure you value education today because your dad valued it as well.
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It’s very true. I inherit the two valuable things from him, education and exercise!! He kept up the exercise until he had a stroke at 85 years old!! I admired him. Oh, one more thing, he loved plants. He truly had a green thumb!!
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Yes we remember grandma lighting the incense every morning. It was also ancestor worship.These days though there aren’t many that maintain the altars anymore. Indeed nostalgia
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Yes!!
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I can relate myself to one of your life incidents, as you lost your sister i lost my brother recently, sometimes even hospitals don’t save life.
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Yes, I know. I lost two older relatives to cancer, when discovered, it was too late!
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Thanks for sharing your life. I felt sad reading about your little sister, one you perhaps didn’t know. But also am thankful for your life and the blessing it is and has been. Your dad and mum were instrumental in the paths you took in life.
Susie
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Yes, they were. Especially my dad’s encouragement for me to do well as school. I’m still taking classes, that’s that footprint he left me!!
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Absolutely fascinating, I really enjoyed reading about your childhood 🌹
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At first I thought I couldn’t remember too much, when I started writing, more or more images came up. My daughter always want to know!
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I am not surprised it’s really interesting 🌹
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She said, every time you tell me something, I learn something new about you. So I decided to try to remember as much as I could before I really can’t remember anymore!!! 🙂
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It is funny how parents tell us things later in life, my mother surprises me when I hear some of her stories 🌹
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I always wanted to know how some of my siblings didn’t make it, but my parents never talked about it. perhaps it was the war, or because she was too young. They got married when my dad was 16, my mom 15. 🙂
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Wow that is young and did they stay together all their lives ? 🌹
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Yes, they were married for 70 years when my dad passed away, my mom had dementia, lingered for 4 more year. She died of 90.
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Good heavens wow, what a story 😳
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It’s common n that generation. I have friends’ parents married for that many years if they live to 90+!!!
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