I was the first one in my whole family who has high blood pressure. I was the first one and the only one who had a divorce. The onset of high blood pressure was during the child custody battle. I was taken to court four times to fight for custody of my daughter within five years after the divorce. My blood pressure was creeping up on me.
My daughter was constantly under pressure to ask me let her stay with her dad full time. It hurt me more to see her suffered from the pressure. So without the official court order, I let her stay with her dad full time for six months.
By the end of six months, I was taken back to court claiming the pattern of having my daughter full time. After a whole week of court hearing, came the court order on the fifth day. Before the announcement, the judge called my daughter into his chamber. He spent twenty minutes with my daughter who was thirteen year-old at the time. She presented a two-page letter to the judge, giving the reasons she wanted to be with her dad permanently.
The judge came out from his chamber, stating that, after a whole week’s hearing, what he believed was what the child said. Therefore, the father received primary custody.
With that court order, my daughter was taken away, out of California, out of my reach. Gradually, all the phone numbers were disconnected. Email addresses were changed, except one. By law, I should have access to my daughter. The only access was one email address when she was controlled of whether or not returning my email and what to write when she did reply.
I only saw my daughter once in five year, from her thirteen years of age until she turned eighteen. Several months before she turned eighteen, I hinted her that she would be adult and that she could make her own decision. She took my words into her heart.
When she applied to universities, she was accepted by several with good scholarships. She chose one that was four hours’ drive away from her dad. She went to Portland, Oregon. Like all the university students, she constantly moved housing from semester to semester. When she turned eighteen and moved to another address. She didn’t give the new address to her dad.
The summer after she turned eighteen, she started contacting me. What a joy! What a relief! That was the best day in my life; only second to the day she was born.
We started to communicate, to build our relationship, to catch up of all the fear, doubt, and uncertainty during the past years.
We are grateful to God who have watched over us, protected us, and brought us back together. With her husband Will, and my husband Lynton, we have built a wonderful and close relationship as a family.
Nothing worse than the wranglings of court hearings. You were the first in many things because you dared to make a difference. Constant prayers and God’s plan overwrote your ex’s controlling ways. I am so happy you have reunited with your daughter and now you have a good and healthy family life together. God is amazing. Blessings to you.
Yes, I know that a lot of similar situations happen in U.S. When I was a teacher years ago. Two fathers of the same child (one paternal dad, one step-dad) asked me to write letters to support them (the fathers) in court. I said, teacher’s recommendation didn’t carry weight. I taught to one stranger who purposely not to work, so she could receive more child support. It’s messy.
Thank you very much! I’m glad it’s over and we have a happy family!
This hurt my heart reading this Miriam. I can’t imagine the pain it caused you, and your daughter. What a blessing that you two have been reunited, and now are sharing all the wonderful things in life together. So thankful that everything is back to right, as it should have been :):)
I’m so thankful that she found her way out and came back to me. I’m thankful that God extended my life from cancer so that I could enjoy her. Mostly, I’m thankful to live to see him realized he cost his own suffering now. I know not many people live to see justices be done, but God has mercy on me, and allow me to see it.
Yes, the pain is over, almost forgotten. We only focus on our happiness, enjoy being together, anticipate the new baby coming! Thank you for your comment.
I believe what you’re doing. The energy is a powerful thing. When I was doing my doctorate study, one class studies Personal Mastery. The profession invited a person in to demonstrate the energy. She was holding my hands, our eyes were closed, I could feel the vibration and the warmth transferred to my body! I’m now easy to center, and feel peace!
Some people feel energy, some don’t but in both cases it’s working. Working with energy is very powerful and amazing and magical too, it’s going far beyond the comprehension of the mind🙂
It was, but hope sustained me. She missed being a regular teenager because of his control. I’m glad her husband is a very active guy, and taught her, encouraged her doing many sports. She did cross country skiing, climbed to the top of Mt Adam in Portland Oregon, did kayaking, went to Zion national park to do canyoning, rock climbing. Se had a lot of fun with him. Now she is preparing for the coming of the new baby in September!
Tears in my eyes thinking of the pain of separation of life’s most primal bond – mother and child. I can imagine you must still grieve those years you cannot have together. And at the same time I’d guess you really savour and treasure her presence. Thanks for sharing this. It inspires me to persist and treasure and appreciate.
My daughter and I talked, sometime for hours about those days. We shared memories, feelings, and the desire of reaching out but didn’t due to fear of him. So we gained a lot of understanding and appreciation of each other, and strengthen the bond with each other. We learn not to take things for granted!
Yes, thank you, Debbie! Both my daughter and I forgave her dad, and kept the communication line open. He suffered a great deal as the consequence and he kinds of knows that. We can only pray for him and only God can help him at this point!
Thank you, Robbie! I cried myself to sleep countless nights. When my daughter and I shared what happened, we felt that God sent His angel to protect us, especially her all along. Till this day, she said no one understand what she has gone through but me. (Her dad has mental illness.)
Praise God for all He has done and continues to do..
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Amen and thank you for the kind comment!
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I’m so glad that things came right in the end.
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Thank you for your encouragement! We’re glad that It turned out right!
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Nothing worse than the wranglings of court hearings. You were the first in many things because you dared to make a difference. Constant prayers and God’s plan overwrote your ex’s controlling ways. I am so happy you have reunited with your daughter and now you have a good and healthy family life together. God is amazing. Blessings to you.
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Thank you so much for reading and comment. It means a lot to me. Blessings to you also!
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O wow what a dramatic and a very happy happy happy happy happy story. So happy to hear
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Yes, I know that a lot of similar situations happen in U.S. When I was a teacher years ago. Two fathers of the same child (one paternal dad, one step-dad) asked me to write letters to support them (the fathers) in court. I said, teacher’s recommendation didn’t carry weight. I taught to one stranger who purposely not to work, so she could receive more child support. It’s messy.
Thank you very much! I’m glad it’s over and we have a happy family!
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A difficult time, Miriam. So happy you and your dear daughter came through it all together! 😉 xoxoM
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Thank you, Margarita! We are grateful. Thank you for your comment!
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I’m glad she is part of your life again. That must have been a painful time for you. I like happy endings.
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Thank you Cee! We just look forward to the future! Yes, we are excited about the baby coming!
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This hurt my heart reading this Miriam. I can’t imagine the pain it caused you, and your daughter. What a blessing that you two have been reunited, and now are sharing all the wonderful things in life together. So thankful that everything is back to right, as it should have been :):)
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I’m so thankful that she found her way out and came back to me. I’m thankful that God extended my life from cancer so that I could enjoy her. Mostly, I’m thankful to live to see him realized he cost his own suffering now. I know not many people live to see justices be done, but God has mercy on me, and allow me to see it.
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I know that pain and am so happy that things finally worked out for you and your daughter! What a blessing!
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Yes, it seemed to be forever at the time. I’m glad God has mercy on us. Thank you for your comment!
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No parent can force a child to stay with for ever. When she grows she takes her own decision.
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Yes, that’s right. Thank God that they have that choice when grow up!
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I’m very happy for you, wish you all the best together!
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Yes, the pain is over, almost forgotten. We only focus on our happiness, enjoy being together, anticipate the new baby coming! Thank you for your comment.
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Super! 🌷
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Thank you!!!
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I believe what you’re doing. The energy is a powerful thing. When I was doing my doctorate study, one class studies Personal Mastery. The profession invited a person in to demonstrate the energy. She was holding my hands, our eyes were closed, I could feel the vibration and the warmth transferred to my body! I’m now easy to center, and feel peace!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some people feel energy, some don’t but in both cases it’s working. Working with energy is very powerful and amazing and magical too, it’s going far beyond the comprehension of the mind🙂
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I always believe in the energy!! You’re right, we can’t will something to happen, but the energy does powerful things as you said.
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🙂
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🙂 🙂
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I’m happy you and your daughter are re-united at last. 🙂
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Yes, can’t believed that it was 13 years ago. We are doing well right now. Thank you for your comment!
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Touching reality! Life and Living it!! Thanks for sharing!
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You’re welcome. Thank you for reading!
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A lovely ending to that family story Miriam. I would have hated to be without my sons while they were growing up, it must have been awful for you.
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It was, but hope sustained me. She missed being a regular teenager because of his control. I’m glad her husband is a very active guy, and taught her, encouraged her doing many sports. She did cross country skiing, climbed to the top of Mt Adam in Portland Oregon, did kayaking, went to Zion national park to do canyoning, rock climbing. Se had a lot of fun with him. Now she is preparing for the coming of the new baby in September!
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You must be very excited expecting a grandchild!
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Yes, I’m the last among my sisters to become grandma, but first one among my husband’s siblings to become grandpa!!
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That’s really awesome!
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Thank you, Wally! God’s mighty hand and power!
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Very true, very true!
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Thank you!
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Tears in my eyes thinking of the pain of separation of life’s most primal bond – mother and child. I can imagine you must still grieve those years you cannot have together. And at the same time I’d guess you really savour and treasure her presence. Thanks for sharing this. It inspires me to persist and treasure and appreciate.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My daughter and I talked, sometime for hours about those days. We shared memories, feelings, and the desire of reaching out but didn’t due to fear of him. So we gained a lot of understanding and appreciation of each other, and strengthen the bond with each other. We learn not to take things for granted!
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Lovely family, mother and daughter relationship is no less than friendship. Happy to see good friends together.
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Yes, we’re becoming more and more like adult to adult, rather than mother-daughter! Thank you for your comment!
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A very touching story. So happy you got to reunite with your daughter. Love wins!
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Thank you Angela for your kind comment!
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I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you! And very glad you’ve had a ‘happy ending.’ 😊
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God has Mercy on me to see the happy ending
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Oh, Miriam. I am so happy for you. Sending love and blessings to all involved. ❤ Debbie
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Yes, thank you, Debbie! Both my daughter and I forgave her dad, and kept the communication line open. He suffered a great deal as the consequence and he kinds of knows that. We can only pray for him and only God can help him at this point!
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What a sad and scary read, Miriam. How completely awful for you. Thank you good Lord that everything has worked out in the end.
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Thank you, Robbie! I cried myself to sleep countless nights. When my daughter and I shared what happened, we felt that God sent His angel to protect us, especially her all along. Till this day, she said no one understand what she has gone through but me. (Her dad has mental illness.)
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Thank you for sharing this story, Miriam. I’m very happy for you!
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Thank you, Cheryl. I’m happy with all the blessings!
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Beautiful family.
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Thank you!
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