Tag Archives: Daughter

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives #Family – Letters between a mother and daughter – by Miriam Hurdle

I’m honored that Sally features my archives on her blog. I would love for you to read this post and let me know what you think.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Miriam Hurdle shares two post in one with a letter that she wrote to her daughter and then she shares a very special post where Mercy shares the words that she associates with her mother, and the strengths she has inherited from her.

A Love Letter by Miriam Hurdle

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Dear Mercy,

I’m so proud to have you as my daughter. You gave meaning to my life! For over ten years when you were young, I overlooked my disappointments and emotional turmoil. All I could see was your beautiful smile. It gave me strength to move my feet, one step at a time.

You delighted me with your intelligence and made your learning fun. You were like a sponge, soaked in every new learning as fast as it came. I described you as book gobbler as you read books after books in such a fast pace. You were placed in GATE…

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To a Daughter Leaving Home by Linda Pastan

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On May 27, 1932, Linda Pastan was born to a Jewish family in the Bronx. She graduated from Radcliffe College and received an MA from Brandeis University.
Among her publications are – Carnival Evening: New and Selected Poems 1968-1998 (W. W. Norton, 1998), which was nominated for the National Book Award; The Imperfect Paradise (W. W. Norton, 1988), a nominee for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize.
Linda Pastan lives in Potomac, Maryland.

I feature two of her poems. The first one makes me laugh and think. When I first read the title, I thought she was writing about her daughter going to college, or at a wedding. When I read on to the last line, I could feel her heart. Yes, our children leave us in different stages and different circumstances.

I found myself letting Mercy go little by little as she was growing up. Letting her go in a way of respect her to become independent but still stay close by to be her support. When Mercy was in fifth grade, she configured my first cell phone. When she was a young adult, she became my friend as remains to be my daughter. At the present, I rely on her expertise and am not afraid to ask.

~

To A Daughter Leaving Home by Linda Pastan

When I taught you
at eight to ride
a bicycle, loping along
beside you
as you wobbled away
on two round wheels,
my own mouth rounding
in surprise when you pulled
ahead down the curved
path of the park,
I kept waiting
for the thud
of your crash as I
sprinted to catch up,
while you grew
smaller, more breakable
with distance,
pumping, pumping
for your life, screaming
with laughter,
the hair flapping
behind you like a
handkerchief waving
goodbye.

The second poem evokes my reflection on the question: when am I most myself? I think it is ever since I had cancer. I reflect on life vs. death, health vs. sickness, essential vs. contemporary, personal right vs. relationship. I accept who I am and no interest in pretending. I’m satisfied with what I have and no ambition to acquire “one more.”

~

Something About the Trees by Linda Pastan

I remember what my father told me:
There is an age when you are most yourself.
He was just past fifty then,
Was it something about the trees that make him speak?
There is an age when you are most yourself.
I know more than I did once.
Was it something about the trees that make him speak?
Only a single leaf had turned so far.
I know more than I did once.
I used to think he’d always be the surgeon.
Only a single leaf had turned so far,
Even his body kept its secrets.
I used to think he’d always be the surgeon,
My mother was the perfect surgeon’s wife.
Even his body kept its secrets.
I thought they both would live forever.
My mother was the perfect surgeon’s wife,
I can still see her face at thirty.
I thought they both would live forever.
I thought I’d always be their child.
I can still see her face at thirty.
When will I be most myself?
I thought I’d always be their child.
In my sleep, it’s never winter.
When will I be most myself?
I remember what my father told me.
In my sleep, it’s never winter.
He was just past fifty then.

~

This is an expansion of Pantoum Poem Form from 4 stanzas to 7 stanzas.
Stanza 1: 1, 2, 3, 4
Stanza 2: 2, 5, 4, 6
Stanza 3: 5, 7, 6, 8
Stanza 4: 7, 9, 8, 10
Stanza 5: 9, 11, 10, 12
Stanza 6: 11, 13, 12, 14
Stanza 7: 13, 1, 14, 3

 

 

Weekly Photo Challenge – Growth in Relationship

This is the 4th day into the new year of 2018. It’s an open book. What memories do I want to fill into this book?

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I do not know about tomorrow. I face each single day with my mind open to learn, my heart open to love and accept, and my hands open to give and receive.

With that mindset, I pray for growth as an individual, as husband and wife, as well as a family. I pray that my husband and I will grow deeper in loving and caring for each other, learn to be considerate and thoughtful parents and grandparents.

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As for Mercy and Will, I pray that they grow in their love, respect and admiration to each other. Every day brings new learning and new joy as parents with their precious baby Autumn. Autumn is now 3 months and 1 week old. She found her fingers and loves to put them in her mouth. She is laughing, cooing, and grabbing objects with both hands. She would love to play board games as much as her parents and grandparents.

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This new year will be a great growing time for all of us!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Growth

Debbie’s Forgiving Connects

Birthday Present

I have written a post about My daughter Mercy. I love her dearly.

November 22 is my birthday. Some years, my birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day. This year, it was the day before Thanksgiving. My daughter Mercy, her husband Will, and baby Autumn came on Sunday, November 19 and stayed until the day after Thanksgiving.

On my birthday, we went to the mall to do window shopping. We then had some photos taken in front of the only Christmas tree. Santa was there for kids’ visit and photos. We were going to have photos taken with different decorations, but it seemed like the decorations were down to minimal. Perhaps I hadn’t been to the mall during Christmas for many years and didn’t realize the shrinkage.

We had dinner at a restaurant. Mercy gave me a booklet for my birthday present. It entitled “I Love You, Mom. And Here’s Why!” Each page has a prompt for her to share her thoughts with me. When we got home, I couldn’t wait but read through the twenty-one pages. My eyes were filled with tears from the first line of Mercy’s writing, and the smile mixed with tears for the remaining pages.

Here are two examples of the pages.

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I love you very much, Mercy!

Thursday’s Special – Over

Paula at Lost in Translation: “The week is almost over and so is the month, and this time the challenge theme is OVER.”

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These photos were taken early this year when we went to visit Mercy and Will. The plane flew over California Mountains and went above the clouds to meet the blue sky. I love to see a bed of fluffy clouds and almost feel like some kids having a pillow fight with the cotton flying all over. Portland rains a lot, so when the plane approached Portland, we saw patchy clouds.

The flight from Ontario, California to Portland, Oregon is always pleasant and smooth. I look forward to many more trips to Portland when Mercy’s new baby is arriving in September this year.

Over 2

Over 3

 

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Thursday’s Special – Over

Mother-Daughter Reunion

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I was the first one in my whole family who has high blood pressure. I was the first one and the only one who had a divorce. The onset of high blood pressure was during the child custody battle. I was taken to court four times to fight for custody of my daughter within five years after the divorce. My blood pressure was creeping up on me.

My daughter was constantly under pressure to ask me let her stay with her dad full time. It hurt me more to see her suffered from the pressure. So without the official court order, I let her stay with her dad full time for six months.

By the end of six months, I was taken back to court claiming the pattern of having my daughter full time. After a whole week of court hearing, came the court order on the fifth day. Before the announcement, the judge called my daughter into his chamber. He spent twenty minutes with my daughter who was thirteen year-old at the time. She presented a two-page letter to the judge, giving the reasons she wanted to be with her dad permanently.

The judge came out from his chamber, stating that, after a whole week’s hearing, what he believed was what the child said. Therefore, the father received primary custody.

With that court order, my daughter was taken away, out of California, out of my reach. Gradually, all the phone numbers were disconnected. Email addresses were changed, except one. By law, I should have access to my daughter. The only access was one email address when she was controlled of whether or not returning my email and what to write when she did reply.

I only saw my daughter once in five year, from her thirteen years of age until she turned eighteen. Several months before she turned eighteen, I hinted her that she would be adult and that she could make her own decision. She took my words into her heart.

When she applied to universities, she was accepted by several with good scholarships. She chose one that was four hours’ drive away from her dad. She went to Portland, Oregon. Like all the university students, she constantly moved housing from semester to semester. When she turned eighteen and moved to another address. She didn’t give the new address to her dad.

The summer after she turned eighteen, she started contacting me. What a joy! What a relief! That was the best day in my life; only second to the day she was born.

We started to communicate, to build our relationship, to catch up of all the fear, doubt, and uncertainty during the past years.

We are grateful to God who have watched over us, protected us, and brought us back together. With her husband Will, and my husband Lynton, we have built a wonderful and close relationship as a family.

Daily Prompt: Relieved

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